since ive been away i,ll post it all here

[fat bloke]

as many of you know i get bored and "do stuff" and usually end up running a thread reporting about it, so i,ll just run the one as ive been away and put it all here!

this woz where me and the missis had a row about who waz fastest, we had to level the playin field so i got to ride a CB250!

so we finally got to ride together, missis "b" on the SV and my fat arse on the CB250! we headed out real early (bout 10.30) to beat the traffic (evenin rushhour) and to get a headstart on the day, arranged to meet english on the way so he could take sum pics!
so the dummy run today woznt exactly a success but then again we al had a right larf so it woznt a failure either!!!!

gettin ready to head out, fittin my "tag" for the day and listening to missis "b" tellin my im goin down!


i got the run on missis "b" from the off, shes a slow starter so i tried to get a head of her, here she is all alone LOL


she finally caught me up (on the straight) and taunted me rlentlesly then hit the gas and shot off


wich worked fine till we got to the first corner LOL


you will probly notice from sum of the pics ridin a lil 250 when you weight over 300lbs is all about "momentum" and that means takin the straightest line and not backin off!


goin up 129 woz a right a pain in the arse, id be flat out in third, hit fourth then slow down, hit third again and so on and so on!


but i finally found a way past using my "momentum" style i slid thru on the inside


only to have missis "b" power back past my goin up the next hill! it sucks only havin 19bhp and weighin 309lbs


this is me tryin to be thin, im makin myself aerodynamic (ya can hardly see me) on the straightaways!


i had to cut a few corners to keep up!


after short downhill run i hit 70mph using me patented streamlining technique!


wich helped me gain a few yards every corner till


i caught her up and


went for the pass


but uphill passes were never goin to work out


but tit never stopped me tryin!


nearly had her there


but alas the power of the CB 250 failed me when i needed it most!

[fat bloke]

next up "arsing around at dales" a local rider meeting point!

i always like dthe chubby look myself and i have this old rainsuit its a XXXXXL so i figure it woz perfect attire for the "dales lunchtime stunt show" well ya know how it is with the usual show i figured id give the locals sumthin to talk about!
so i donned the fat guy suit (i really didint llok alot different) and off i went!

did i metnion i got a new lid for crimbo? cheeers missis "b"


fat biker shocker!


if missis "b" ever tells you i have a problem gettin it up remind her of this LOL





does this bike make my arse look big?


mandatory "shocker ride by"


goin for a feet up burn put but i couldnt get it to loosen its grip on the asphalt (i think the forks are bending)


all this hard work made me wanna lay down (speed bump?) problem woz i couldnt get back up!


missis "b" to the rescue


kinda anyway! LOL (yes those are real)


then she let og of me! im wearin three sweats 2 t,s and 3 jackets under that suit and three pairs of leggins!


lost my balance

[fat bloke]

then we set off home, we had bumped intoa c uple of BSB members along the way but they didnt wanaa race with us so we kinda went it alone from here altho english follwed the best he could to catch a few more celluliod moments!

19 ponies, no front brake (drum brakes suck) and its downhill!


plus missi "b" woz tired by now (tryin to keep up all day will do that to a gurl) so i get a run ahead on 129 down from blood mountain (i think)


but she catches me up again


so i have to start rididn harder and the ole knes starts to make its first appearence all day LOL


so i start to make a gap again


and on the dowhill parts i actualy keep it that way!


oh bollox another flat straight part and i know she,s gonna use that van to block me


i bloody knew it she,s gonna sandwich me behind the bloody van! wot can i do?


take her out!


this lil bikes so sexy i want it to have my babies!

[fat bloke]

this woz another thread from my forum titled "earbrows anyone"

a few days ago i woz messin with a mate who is about three inches taller than his hair about not ridin in the winter, he told me its coz he looses to much body heat thru the top of his head, i told him he,s just bein limp wristed and needs to get out more to wich he replied "maybe if you were a spam head you would understand" i told him i knew a few chrome domes who rode all year round!
then last nite at another mates house we were havin dinner, a large group of us are about the same age and from the UK and we got onto the subjects of hairstyles, when i woz younger i had a perrfect mohawk and it turns out so did my mates,
anyway im due for a change as im gettin to old for this trim and we larfed about me havin a "reverse" hair do when i start goin bald, seemed like a great time to try out my buddies theory about loosin alot of heat thru the top of your head!
so out came the clippers and before you know it i had the perfect pair of "earbrows"

my usual "do" shaved at the sides and back and standin up on the top! (my track wedding pic)


how i looked this morning when missis "b" said to me "no point havin a "new do" if your not goin to show it off


so i whipped off my new thermal head gear to reveal the perfect pair of "earbrows"


im goin to the store shortly to get a fake ponytail and sum of those thick glasses then we are goin out for dinner


tell me that dont look sexy LOL i heard sum wimmin actually like bald guys


two of my pups wont speak to me and the biggun "deezul" just looks at me with his who gives a **** look


i would just like to point out no animals were injured in the makin of this thread, no alcohol woz involed and all stunts were performed buy licenced stunt men, missis "b" took care of the shaving and its a three day deal!
my mate woz right, heat escapes at a high rate thru the top of your head

[fat bloke]

A few of the event itself

[fat bloke]

my missis posted this LOL

Starting out, pink razors for a big boy!


Close up, Tito Ortiz "velcro" look (i wish)


He wanted me to do his eyebrows & stach!


Bloke really doesnt look that happy LOL


Next stop is the tattoo store

[Lord Vader]

Brilliant
you are right i hardly could see you when did you aerodynamic Race pose thingy,and yes the bike makes your A... look big

[DaveS]

I don't know what to say...... cool!
I love your posts never know what we're going to see next!!

[fat bloke]

wots with ALL the stickies in the chtter forum?

[z-weiser]

FB your posts rule!!!!