Garage service standards.

[btbloke]

I'll be happy with TWO sets of brakes,and I mean one each end,that work.

[muddysuvner]

I'll be happy with TWO sets of brakes,and I mean one each end,that work.

Just need a circlip for the rear master cylinder and it'll be sorted, it works now, just pisses a bit of fluid out so requires regular topping up

[StumpyFingers]

At our Garage the Bus mechanics no longer exist.
They are now called engineers.
A Bus came in the other day with lack of power( it could only do 4mph up hill empty) the Engineer looked at it and signed the paperwork to say it had been fixed.
I took it out and it would not go up the hill, it went back into the workshop where it was found to need a NEW compressor, a NEW turbo, New injectors and one other thing OIL in the gearbox.
Would you really want to trust your pride and joy to someone like that?

[Windmill John]

See below, there's your problem, you need a mechanic. A technician is skilled in something, but a mechanic fixes it
I think techinian is a modern word for hospital administrator

Technician
–noun
1. a person who is trained or skilled in the technicalities of a subject.




Mechanic
–noun
1. a person who repairs and maintains machinery, motors, etc.: an automobile mechanic.

[Rubberchicken]

When I first got my BMW 850GS with 42,000 miles on it, I got awful vibration above 50MPH. Took it to South London Motorcycles. They got their senior mechanic out, he took it for a ride, came back and said the big end's gone,

Errr.
A big end in the process of kicking the bucket gives one of the most horrifying sounds an engine can make. A mere bit of vibration is nothing, especially in boxers.

A good sync job can even fix a rough gearbox in my experience.

[trophydave]

I am a mechanic.I am NOT a technician or an engineer

[YEN_POWELL]

At my first ever job I watched Wally, our repair man climb up onto a giant tracked mechanical grab and dismantle the top end of it's diesel engine, replace the pistons and god knows what else, get it restarted, then leave it running for a few hours to bed in. He did all this in half a day.

I said to him he must be a good mechanic and he replied, I'm not a mechanic, they would repair the parts, then reassemble it, I just put new parts back on, I'm a fitter.

He climbed deep inside a metal swarf shredder to repair that once, but first he stood me by the master power switch and gave me a big steel bar. I was instructed to use it on anybody who came near it!

[Jenna]

I rang Mercedes Benz Chelsea this morning to ask about a temperature sender. I described the fault and asked "Does that sound broadly right?".

Answer:

"As a technician, I couldn't tell you."

WHAAAT?! WELL WHAT THE HELL DOES A TECHNICIAN DO?!?!?

We are all going to Hell in a handcart...

electrics are handled by auto sparks these days plus dealers tend to specialise techs so you could have been asking a brake tech about an engine tech or sparks problem... joy of dealing with a faceless dealers!

[digitalcaptive]

As I now look after our fleet vehicles at work as well as the IT, its now down to me to sort out servicing and repairs, So when one of the guys reported that his VW Tourans clutch pedal kept sticking down I booked it in to a Loughborough VW Main Dealer, when I got in the car sure enough the clutch pedal stuck down although the clutch itself had not operated so I forced the pedal back up with my foot and heard "click,click,click" while doing so "I know what that is" I thought to myself "its the ratchet mechanism on the pedal shagged (technical term) anyway on arriving at said VW dealer I told the "engineer" my diagnosis and he kinda shrugged his shoulders with a "whatever attitude"....On all our fleet cars we pay a service contract so repairs tyres, breakdown ect cost us nothing extra (but equates to about £130 per month per car) and the fleet company have to authorise all the work.....so a week later I get a call "your touran is ready" "oh great what work have you done to it" I asked "New clutch (this car has done 36000 miles), master cylinder, slave cylinder a total cost of £850" .......WHAT!!!!!!
Anyway went to collect the car (moaned a bit) and went to drive off in it and guess what? yeah pedal stuck down
So left it with them for a futher two days during which time they fitted???? yep a new ratchet (but only according to them because the extra stress of all the new parts had made it fail) biggest load of ****e I've ever heard.................Anyway phoned up the fleet company to tell them this story and they weren't in the slightest bit interested even though they'd paid £1000 for what would have been cured with a £120 part

The trouble is these technicians don't diagnose any more, at main dealers they can keep chucking parts at a problem until the problem goes away and with most of their work being warranty and fleet they get away with it

[jasonbc]

I rang Mercedes Benz Chelsea this morning to ask about a temperature sender. I described the fault and asked "Does that sound broadly right?".

Answer:

"As a technician, I couldn't tell you."

WHAAAT?! WELL WHAT THE HELL DOES A TECHNICIAN DO?!?!?

We are all going to Hell in a handcart...

AS a tech he'll know whats was right or wrong but for various reasons won't tell you. Sometimes because if you do the job and cock something else up you could then claim it was there fault as you should have been told this or that could happen if you do this or that. Especially with modern electronics, some new cars with brake force distributon you can't change the pads at home as the pistons on the caliper have to be calibrated and set when new pads are fitted.

As for the £100 per hour at landrover mentioned that must be cheap for up country prices as they charge more than that down here. I know this as a friend owns an indendant landrover garage and the local franchise dealer farms out there warranty work to him, reason. They charge over £100per/h he charges £60/ per hour he does the work they make £40 per hour for doing nothing leaving there workshop bays free for basic servicing of brand new cars, and there does seem to be alot of warranty work coming through at the moment from land rover when the recession started he got quite busy as it came through he got even busier with other customers now he turning work away he's that busy, good on him