Charity Auction H4H

[PanRider]

Well it had all been happening in the auction hall. Just when you got the feeling that the £25.00 bid from the Norfolk nutter wouldn’t be beaten, a peeky looking, spanner clenching, medal wearing, coffin dodger painfully raises a hand and bids £30.00, he knew, more than most, the importance of raising money for H4H, as he himself had served, possibly in WWII? and experienced first hand what our troops endure whilst serving Queen and country.

£30.00 I’m bid, £30.00 for this excellent publication, are we all done at £30.00

As the auctioneer looked out onto the sea of bidders, an Ox, methodically made it’s way into the hall, every step showing it’s age, even the old soldier felt young in comparison to this creature.

Ignoring everyone else he proudly made his way up to the auctioneer and began stamping his front left hoof (do cow’s have hooves or feet?). Following the auctioneers encounter earlier with a lioness, an Ox didn’t faze the auctioneer one bit, it was like water of a cows back. He immediately realised that each tap was a bid and slowly counted. On the 35th tap the Ox stopped.

£35.00 I’m bid, £35.00 from the book reading Ox,

The auctioneeer wondered to himself, what sort of trail bike the Ox would actually do an adventure ride on?

£35.00 are we all done at £35.00 ? Going once, going twice at £35.00, it’s going, it’s going, it’s going at £35.00, to the ever reliable Ox.

The auctioneer raises his gavel and looks out one more time for a bid?

[Mervinh]

Dunno about Trail bike but if the lion woke up and saw the ox the ox would leave a trail to match the nurses in smell across the auction hall ,
looks like your last chance to own this lovely book folks anymore bids?????
merv

[Mervinh]

Nurse could you just check the auctioneers pulse please, maybe the magical menagerie, has frightned him to death , I hope not as they are all harmless creatures

[PanRider]

As the auctioneer raised his gavel, pausing to look for a final bid he went into a self induced hypnotic state (see Ash Lee - Stage Hypnotist for details) during his state of trance all sorts of things happend, e.g. two days out on the road, riding over 500 miles on his beloved Pan, selling entertainment, plus other bits & pieces. It had been a busy time to say the least. As he felt Nursie’s delicate hand on his throat, as she “apparently” checked for a pulse, (was she upset that the auctioneer had accidentally mistaken her for a kiss’o’gram???) he instantly awakened. And the Gavel fell

“It’s gone for £35.00 to the book reading Ox, who would look great on a Yamaha Tenere”

The Ox then made his way back to his mistress who had hopefully finishing morphing into a beautiful butterfly and would be flying around doing her butterfly thing, to inform her that she should make her donation into the Just giving site, saying something along the lines of Charity auction Lot No 1. Thanks to MervinH for donating. (And anything nice or positive about some forum member called PanRider)

Before the auctioneer went onto lot number 2, he checked the up to date list of items still to be auctioned. Looking good, he thought to himself. Water bottles, crockery, headlamps etc. He wondered if more PMs would come in with offers of things to auction in aid of H4H???

“Ladies & Gentle men we now come onto lot No. 2 another excellent publication for every motorised off road, two wheeled enthusiast..

Adventure Riding Techniques

The essential guide to all the skills you need for off-road adventure riding
By: Robert Wicks & Greg Baker

Adventure Riding Techniques is the definitive guide to the specialist skills needed for off-road adventure riding, written to give readers the confidence to undertake a long-distance adventure ride, whatever the conditions. The book takes a practical approach to adventure bike basics, riding techniques, crossing different types of terrain, riding positions and survival. In typical Haynes style, using picture-led chapters and step-by-step instructions, the book covers all the key aspects of the techniques relevant to adventure riding.


“Ladies and Gents do I hear an opening bid of £5.00?”

[Mervinh]

Meesh
can you PM me your name and address please, then i can post it too you,


this is the next book , a very good one too brand spanking new from Messr,s Haynes courtesy of Dave Avery,
who i believe is at the moment in spain doing a track day

[Mabels Old Man]

Start with £10

[PanRider]

Start with £10

£10.00 I’m bid, an opening bid from the Welsh Master of U-turns, £10.00, do I hear £15.00?“

[stuart]

£10.00 I’m bid, an opening bid from the Welsh Master of U-turns, £10.00, do I hear £15.00?“

yes

[PanRider]

£15.00 to the man of many words, £15.00 I'm bid. Do I hear £20.00 for this collectors item?

[ukTiffy]

The old soldier at the back, a bit disappointed to have not got the first lot, raises his hand to bid. This afterall is for his mucker's and looks a good a read as the first offering.