Easy pootle turns to hell

[cbrpaddy]

A bit of a fright.

I finally got ViewRanger installed onto the phone today, plus 640mb of ordnance survey maps of Ireland, the complete set, so to test it out I decided to take a bit of a spin towards the Burren in Co.Clare and use it to find some archeological sites.




I found one or two very easily indeed and it was going well until the battery died, but by then I was well up this trail and the curiosity of wanting to see how far it went kept me going further.




Finally, when I'd gotten about as far as it's possible to get from anywhere, through umpteen gates which were nearly rusted closed, and up some trails which were overgrown with grass where no-one had come in quite some time, I stopped to take one last pic.



The trails had been easy actually but I'd stopped on a bit of a slope, and I climbed back on the bike to move off again, then paused and put my foot down, and some rocks under my foot on the downslope slipped and I began to topple over.

Now I've dropped the bike dozens of times, some at speed but never any great problems before (except being knocked out once when the front blew) and this was at a standstill, but for some reason as it started to topple I remember thinking 'oh ****, I'm gonna get trapped here', and what would you reckon happened!

I hit the ground under the bike, somehow managing to get both legs trapped under it, don't ask me how, I reckon I might have been trying to jump clear or something, and as I was on a slope (the pics dont show it) with my head pointing down, the bike slid down a bit onto me.

So I was lying on the ground completely stuck, and all I could manage was to wiggle my left arm a bit. My left leg was under the wheel, my right foot was being squashed as the footpeg was trying to push through my ankle (thank fcuk it had at least folded back), my right arm couldn't move and some serious pain was starting to develop.



As I was looking around trying to figure out what was going on, I realised I was getting wet, so I looked down to see petrol running out from somewhere, along the frame and flowing down onto my leg, so I began to get freaked out a little, thinking if it hit something hot like the exhaust and ignited I was gonna get burnt alive.

I couldn't turn off the motor or reach the fuel tap with my left arm as it was pinioned under the saddle and back of the bike, and my right was trapped - my right elbow was stuck off under me somewhere and the wrist was stuck under the bar and handguard which had come down on it forcing it into the ground.

I couldn't get any leverage anywhere, so I had to start trying to jerk my wrist from under the bars, insomuch as I could make these tiny little jerks. But after christ knows how long, felt like forever, I managed to get it out and then slide backwards enough that I could get the left free and turn off the motor, the bastardin' thing was still running somehow, then pull myself up far enough to shut off the fuel.

At this point I couldn't move the fingers in my right hand, nor wiggle my wrist any, my nuts were still broiling from their nice petrol bath and, as a bonus for getting my body out a bit from under the bike, there was even more weight pressing onto my ankle.

I spent about half an hour heaving my leg and trying to drag myself out but there was no way it was moving. I'd managed to undo the zips on the sunny side-up a few inches, but the pressure on my ankle was such that it couldn't even be dragged out of the boot. I then started to try wiggle back in under the bike so that I could try push it up with my left arm but could only manage enough to lift it a foot or so. I couldn't get in under it enough for decent leverage, my right arm was useless and my left elbow still has nice crunchy bones in it from a highside a decade ago so it's weak anyway, but the main problem was that the higher I pushed the bike, the more my ankle seemed to be getting crushed.

I eventually thought of going the other way, raising the bike off my foot by grasping the footstand, footpeg and whatever and jerking the bike towards me as if to stand it completely upside down on the seat and bars, but no way was that gonna work with just one arm. By now I'd been stuck probably over an hour and I was completely bollixed so I had a rest.

I couldn't think of what else to do so I started trying to rotate the bike, sorta spin it around in the hope it might slip off my foot no such luck. I finally thought of twisting around backwards, grabbing the rear rack down near the exhaust with my left arm and trying to haul the bike forward. I thought there was no way it was going to work and, sure enough, I had to give up after a few minutes as I was shattered wrecked.

At this stage I was starting to think I was foobared altogether, ain't no-one coming this way for possibly weeks if not months again, I hadn't told anyone where I was heading, etc etc, and I was wondering just how long it'd take the crows to peck through me helmet to get to the juicy bits.

Eventually I got a second wind and I just went mental altogether, furiously trying to haul the bike forward again by the rear rack, and I somehow suddenly managed to jerk it a few inches, enough to get the bastardin thing off my ankle, yahoo !!



I had to take another rest and then went hopping down the trail to see what I could see. The trail seemed to improve and after a few hundred yards I could see farm buildings way off down below, so I got back to the bike and managed to heave it upright.
I had to wait another while before the fuel got back into the carbs or whatever before it started, then started going easy down the hill. I thought I was away with it when I came to a gate and there were a few recent tractor tyremarks about, but then I saw the ******* farmer had a padlock on the fcukin thing



So I had to hop off and haul the bike around, one armed, then ride it back up a steep ******* of a hill for a mile, open and close a dozen or so gates in the space of riding several miles before I got back out onto a regular road. I couldn't use the front brake at all in all this and was just rolling on and off the throttle with my palm, and had another sixty odd miles home so that was a fun ride.

Five hours later I'm able to feel my fingers again and move my wrist a little so I guess it's ok. I can barely touch the fleshy part my thumb is attached to, whatever that's called, but it's no big deal. And my ankle seems ok too, some of a foot tattoo appears to have been scraped off but I haven't looked too closely, and it'll probably be swollen up for a few days, but hey, I didn't get burnt after all, happy days !!

The bike has a few little scrapes on the engine crashbar, other than that you'd think nothing had happened at all, damn things are indestructible.

So what lessons have I learned about going trail riding alone, even on easy-peasy baby trails..

1) In case you can't dab down far enough to prevent toppling over on a slope, you should always wear a set of high-heels.

2) The sheep might get worried, but make sure you carry a tub of vaseline or good lube for those sticky situations.

3) Wear a good quality helmet that the crows can't peck through.

4) Wear flame-proof underpants.

5) In case of drought or starvation when trapped, bring some extra grub in the form of a tasty cyanide capsule in a false tooth. This is especially useful when your arms are stuck, and is also probably the lightest accessory you could carry so there's no reason to leave home without.

[Whealie]

I know how painful having your leg trapped under the bike can be - and that was with four of five other people about to pick it up off me fairly sharpish.

NEVER, I repeat NEVER, go off road alone, or at least without telling someone exactly where you are going.

Given that is a tip you'll ignore, get a charger and socket fitted for your phone/sat nav. Then you'll always have maps and emergency back up.

Hope you mend fast.

[ross1176]

hope you are ok mate...i think i might stay at home..lol will you try it any more?

[AlanH]

Great ride report. I did keep thinking that all you needed was your riding buddy to lift the bike off you - but I guess that's the point - especially if you are riding a bike that's a bit lardy.

Whenever I took the RD04 off-road, I was very conscious of the weight of it. I can say from picking Chris's up, the AT is a heavy beast. If it does trap you, sometimes there is nothing you can do but wait for help. If you've got petrol pissing everywhere it could be a very painful wait but will save money on cremation.

Even taking a light bike off-road alone is hazardous. A friend of mine came off and landed awkwardly badly breaking a collarbone and a few ribs. He was riding alone in the middle of nowhere. He had no option but to ride back to civilization on a damaged bike and it took him hours with the ends of the bone grating together and chewing up the flesh in between.

From the photo it's lucky you had IMS wide pegs fitted. A standard narrow peg could easily have speared through your boot and skewered your foot. Then you would have been really stuffed.

Glad it turned out okay. Now don't do it again (yeah right)

[cbrpaddy]

Cheers guys, I'm actually fine today except for a few aches, the thumb is a bit sore and the ankle only has some grazing, not even a bruise yet.

I find the AT to be fine to manage, except of course in this case where I was really stuffed! I easily lifted it back up into a slope with the one arm.

I had the phone turned on with a charger and a bluetooth connection to a headset for voice dialing. I had thought the battery had died, as it still does sometimes when running a lot of apps despite the charger, but I found afterwards the battery must have been jolted just enough to switch it off, which is the first time it's happened on the bike as it's in a very well padded aquabox, although it has done it a few times in my pocket when just walking about.

I know of guys who've died after falls when out by themselves, so riding buddies are always good but sometimes they can't manage it on short notice, and ye have to live a little
I was well aware I was out in the boondocks and was taking it very easy, no messing at all and these trails were very easy, you'd drive a car up most of them, so it just goes to show you never know what might happen.

Oh yeah, I meant to ask what's the likelihood of the thing actually catching fire ? And where would the fuel have been coming from, out the carbs ?

[Whealie]

where would the fuel have been coming from, out the carbs ?

The petrol cap leaks on mine.

[Farmboy]

Glad your Ok

I have been out many times alone ( yesterday in fact ), EVryone knows your not supposed to but when you work all week and your only chance is staring you in the face, and you have no mates then what choice do you have

I have come a cropper twice and both times swore never again

I once came across a sportsbiker in a ditch at the side of the road, he had been there an hour or two.
the bike was laid on top of him and his legs were pointing a number of different ways

He could not move, The bike was pissing out petrol all over him and he was smoking a fag.

He just looked at me and as calmly as you like said " Doesnt look like I will live long enough to die of Cancer "

Priceless !

[Alba]

Good to hear you are on the mend, that is one lucky escape.

As per hill walking always let some one know your route and do not rely on mobile phones have them as a back up only .

It can all go pear shaped very quickly, as you demonstrated.

[AIRWOLF]

Well done Paddy and excellent report.

We all know we should'nt go off road alone, . . . but life's too short . . . . so we take a calculated risk now and again.

It's a day out you'll remember for a while.

[Yeti]

Sorry shouldn't laugh but your misfortune did make me chuckle, and that would make such an ammusing sketch!

Especially the crows trying to peck through your visor!

Good job you didn't have a spoon! dread to think what you would have been tempted to do!

Glad you are ok but sorry........my imagination is just not Disney!