Honda XRV Forum banner

darkness

  1. making babies

    Jokes
    Making a baby. This is hilarious! There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny. ************* The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and...
  2. questions you just cant answer

    Jokes
    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why does someone believe you when you say there are...
  3. surrogate father

    Jokes
    The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door...
  4. Redefining amateur

    Chatter
    My daughters performing in a musical this weekend. I went to see the show tonight as I cant tomorrow. It was an amateur performance of truely amateur porportions :D:D:D In the course of the 2 hours, one of the lead singers came on and sang the wrong song, someone in the choir leaned on a...
  5. Things you never want to hear your surgeon say

    Jokes
    1 Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough. 2 Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card? 3 Damn! Page 84 of the manual is missing! 4 Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens...
  6. Oh Philosophers all, come ye!

    Jokes
    WHO'S IDEA WAS IT THAT WE SHOULD WORK FIVE DAYS IN A WEEK ? (WHY NOT THREE?) Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know...
  7. No joke but this is a classic......

    Jokes
    Ladies & Gents, don't ask me where I found this article published as you can see in 1894. I thought it was a toot, if you can stay with it long enough! Hope you enjoy as much I did......:D :D :D :D :D Instruction and Advice for the Young Bride On the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate...
  8. this tickled me

    Jokes
    A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door....... The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "It is three o'clock in the morning." He slams...
  9. lucas the prince of darkness

    Jokes
    Lucas the Prince of Darkness Not many people know that Land Rovers attempted to market a computer. Why did they stop? They could not find a way to get it to leak oil! A Land Rover doesn´t leak oil, it marks it´s territory. Did you hear about the man whose Land Rover didn't leak oil? The factory...
  10. Bike clock - in the dark.

    Accessories
    The 600TA doesn't have a clock, so I've been using an old analogue wristwatch lashed onto the handlebars. This is fine except at night. In winter when I ride to work I want to have something that is visible all the time in the dark, without me having to press an illumination button, etc. So...
  11. its getting seriously out of hand

    Transalp
    Yes, im getting seriously out of hand on the ta. This is not good. Night before last I had a woohooo :shock: moment on my way home at 2:30amand not a wayhayyyyy :D . Bike went round the tight corner :shock:.Bike was upto it, but my skills and bottle werent. In the darkness I was 10-15 mph...
  12. What a difference a day makes

    Ride Reports and Pictures
    Well, after my horrible week, managed to get out on the bike and and forget about things - I know its not Salisbury Plain, but armed with my gps and landranger map, I went BOAT hunting - this is what its all about :) :) :) :) :) : In the darkness there is a track. This was the...
  13. alaska ride report with pics (not dial up friendly)

    Ride Reports and Pictures
    just thought id post this up, its a couple of guys from my forum here in the USA who did a cool trip, i woz sposed to be on it but my INS travel docs never came thru in time! sorry about the number of pics Well, Matt and I pulled back into Atlanta on 7-1-06 around 7:00pm. We were gone from...
  14. Two days to Horizon's meeting adventure

    Chatter
    So there was i all prepared for the Horizons meet last Thursday. My girlfriend was not feeling well, so i told her to take it easy and we would leave tomorrow (Friday) On Friday we set off, we got as far junction 10 of the M11, i got a rear puncture(Puncture number 1). For those of you that...
  15. F**kin' Hell!!!!

    Chatter
    You wouldn't believe it, but late last night (about 12.30am) I was just starting to doze off whilst watching Blade in bed, when in a half comatose condition I slid my hand up my pillow only for my finger to feel a sharp pain. I quickly drew it back thinking I'd caught a hair in the fabric of the...
  16. Punctures

    Africa Twin
    Got a puncture last night (Saturday), just after 6pm, a little way off the A23 near Chipstead, but in the countryside with all grass verges and no street lighting. I called the AA - of which I have been a member for 18 years. The first thing they offered was a van there in two hours. Yes that's...
Top