hears

HI all, early newyear , I'll be a hunting for a nice DR 350 if anyone has or hears of one.

A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents bedroom. Finally, one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise...

Dear God, How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities? Dear God, When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story? Dear God, Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar...

Bad Taste Jokes What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant? The first couple of times you cough, its not your phlegm... Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when forty scousers showed up. Never having seen anyone from Liverpool at heaven's door, Saint Peter said he would have to...

The New Harley (Old Joke) This guy has always dreamed of owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer and he picks out the perfect bike. While getting all the paperwork together, the dealer tells him about an old biker-trick that...

A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there. He asks the lady "Do you have a vagina". She slams the door in disgust. The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same...

little jonny walks into his parents bedroom to find his dad giving his mum one, jonnys dad laughs throws a pillow at jonny and tells him to get out. a few hours later jonnys dad hears a comotion coming from jonnys room, he walks in to find jonny giving his granny one, the dad is absolutely...

Little Timmy walks into his mum and dads bedroom to find them having sex…. He stands there speechless, :hmph: Dad just laughs at him and throws a pillow at him , shouting “Go on Timmy, get out” Soon after that Dad hears a lot of noise coming from Timmy’s room and enters to see Timmy...

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come...

A bloke has always dreamed of owning a Harley Davidson(God knows why). One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer. After he picks out the perfect bike, the dealer tells him about an old biker trick that will keep the chrome on his new bike free from rust. The...

A farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he would sell. The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster,named Kenny. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem." Well, Kenny the...

I listened to radio 4 last night but wasnt paying attention to what was on. Heard the tail end of a bit of piano music that was quite nice. Shame I missed that me thinks. This afternoon listening to Classic Fm blimey I hears the same bit of music. So I puts 'puter on, looks up programme...

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling, "You Sign! You sign!" Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is...

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears: BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him...

ann & joe were out for a walk, ann says "i need a piss" & goes behind a bush. joe hears her knickers come down and feeling a bit kinky puts his hand through between her legs and feels something hanging. "ann have you changed your sex?" "no", she replies, "i've changed my mind, i'm having a...

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says...

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's...

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night? The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall...

> > Thomas the Tank Engine > > > > A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old > > son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She > > heard the train stop and her son saying, > > > > "All of you b*****ds who want off, get the f**k off now, cause we're...

As I have mentioned before my brother and I are doing a saddlesore 1000 on 26th May. Unfortunately some low life scum stole his Super Tenere from outside his girlfreind's flat in the Viewforth area of Edinburgh on Thursday 19th between 9:45 pm & 10:45 pm. Its reg is G935 YBF its blue and white...