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lawyers

  1. Divorce lawyers

    Jokes
  2. lawyers

    Chatter
    I kid you not, but it is international be kind to lawyers day today. International Be Kind To Lawyers Day - Home For a whole day? They must be kidding.:D
  3. John Cleese

    Jokes
    I know this has been posted before but I've just seen it posted it on an american website. Waiting for the fallout now [/FONT][/SIZE] [/INDENT] [/FONT]
  4. Blondes and Lawyers

    Jokes
    A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists...
  5. Letter to America (John Cleese)

    Jokes
    Old but still brings a smirk to my face! In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume...
  6. The Squirrel and the Grasshopper

    Jokes
    The Squirrel and the Grasshopper REST OF THE WORLD VERSION: The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter...
  7. Grandma in court

    Jokes
    GRANDMA IN COURT Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do...
  8. England Expects or the Battle of Trafalgar 2007 version

    Jokes
    Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy." Hardy: "Aye, aye sir." Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?" Hardy: "Sorry sir?" Nelson (reading aloud): "' England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation...
  9. For BTChef Dude... (Old but hey...)

    Jokes
    CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1940's, 50's, and 60's !! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a tin, and didn't get tested for diabetes...
  10. The Law

    Chatter
    I can't remember if we have any proper lawyers contributing to this site, but if so here's a couple of questions for you; 1. Is ignorance of the law a defence if you break it? 2. Do all lawyers know all the laws? 3. Do all police officers know all the laws? 4. If they don't, how can a...
  11. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

    Jokes
    Curtain Rods She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful Dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background...
  12. Idioms for life.

    Jokes
    1. A day without sunshine is like. . . night. 2. On the other hand, you have. . . different fingers. 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 6. He who laughs last...
  13. Really really sorry

    Jokes
    Please noone take offence it is only a joke but it appealed to the really sick welshgirl in me :D An Irishman, a Welshman and an Englishman are all in Saudi Arabia,sharing a smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol...
  14. An open letter to the people of the United States. By John Cleese

    Jokes
    In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and...
  15. Lawers..

    Jokes
    Lawyers The Dumbing Down Of America - Courtroom Testimony 2-2-7 These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm and quiet while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY : When is...
  16. John Cleese's Letter to America

    Jokes
    To citizens of the United States of America: In light of your failure to elect a competent President or to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all...
  17. Trafalgar

    Jokes
    Battle of Trafalgar 2006. Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy." Hardy: "Aye, aye sir." Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to the signal officer. What's the meaning of this?" Hardy: "Sorry sir?" Nelson (reading aloud): "England expects every person to do his duty, regardless of race...
  18. Sentenced to Death

    Jokes
    A Leeds Fan, a Liverpool fan and a Man u fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming...
  19. Getting old

    Jokes
    A bit long winded, but very good According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 60's, 70's and early 80's probably shouldn't have survived, because our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint which was promptly chewed and...
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