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We all have them, I had a few today while out for a run on the mighty Varadero but the worst were still to come!
Once home I decided in my wisdom the barbeque coals would burn better with a bit of assistance, as in a good splash of kerosene out of the van! Well, Fiona ran off like a scalded cat when I shouted FIRE! She got the extinguisher out of the Landrover as the kero had set light to the dry grass on the lawn and was threatening the garden fence! Following the shock of the fire she decided to come over to me for a hug as I was sitting relaxing in my deck chair , next thing I know the arse has fell out of the seat and I'm heading for the ground, which by now is a pit of ashes,,,, :rolleyes:
So much for barbeques, nothing but hassle,,, and a waste of good kerosene! The chicken looked like something from a funeral pyre! Oh well, carbon's good for you! Just as well the buns hid the taste of the Larne sausage which looked like strips of road tar! The jalapino sauce enhanced the flavour some!
To cap all this Fiona spins the whirly clothes drier round and clocks herself in the head with my bike chain lock I'd placed there temporarily!
Dangerous places gardens, thank god the grass doesn't need cutting yet!

We've retired to the lounge for a dram while the garden recovers! Take care out there folks, I leave the house occasionally too! (And I've always got some Kerosene with me!)
 

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Wing Commander
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14,437 Posts
I watched a black and white Dad's Army on the TV tonight and even they weren't that accident prone.

I'd stay indoors if I were you:D
 

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Truffle shuffle king
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We all have them, I had a few today while out for a run on the mighty Varadero but the worst were still to come!
Once home I decided in my wisdom the barbeque coals would burn better with a bit of assistance, as in a good splash of kerosene out of the van! Well, Fiona ran off like a scalded cat when I shouted FIRE! She got the extinguisher out of the Landrover as the kero had set light to the dry grass on the lawn and was threatening the garden fence! Following the shock of the fire she decided to come over to me for a hug as I was sitting relaxing in my deck chair , next thing I know the arse has fell out of the seat and I'm heading for the ground, which by now is a pit of ashes,,,, :rolleyes:
So much for barbeques, nothing but hassle,,, and a waste of good kerosene! The chicken looked like something from a funeral pyre! Oh well, carbon's good for you! Just as well the buns hid the taste of the Larne sausage which looked like strips of road tar! The jalapino sauce enhanced the flavour some!
To cap all this Fiona spins the whirly clothes drier round and clocks herself in the head with my bike chain lock I'd placed there temporarily!
Dangerous places gardens, thank god the grass doesn't need cutting yet!

We've retired to the lounge for a dram while the garden recovers! Take care out there folks, I leave the house occasionally too! (And I've always got some Kerosene with me!)
Very eventful day for you two.
A+E are always busiest when it is DIY bank holiday weekend. I always end up with cuts and bruises from DIY so last year made a promise to myself to avoid DIY at all costs - and sit and have a BBQ - now I am not sure.
 

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Just had a very successful bbq of lamb chops and spare rib. Might have something to do with the fact that there was no Kerosene involved...;)

Having said that, I did manage to nearly take my finger off with the dremel the other day..:oops:
 

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:D:D:D:D:D:D Some class you've been framed moments there. :thumb: . . . The image of you, Fiona and the deck chair in a heap on the burn't grass is priceless. :D
ps
Hope Fiona's head is'nt too sore.
 

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geriatric
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I've been in the garden since 07:00 this morning, the large paddling pool is up and filled to about 3 inches one end and 8 inches the other,freezing cold water and I have just spent the last half hour shouting and threatening to take it all down again because the kids are up and out all cossi'd up and in it!!! (by 08:00!)
Don't they feel the cold? Don't they realise one of us has to be there to supervise? Don't they realise I want to sit and chill with a coffee and catch up with some emails and this place while it's still relatively cool in the house? ARE THEY INSANE?? Even the 15 month old is trying to get in it,the 3 year ols been in,the 5 year old started a splashing session and the 7 year old has invaded my shed and dug out my belly board " 'cos I wanna surf dad! "

The day is starting as it will probably go on CHAOS!
 

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In future would you all be so kind as to inform us next time you plan something as reckless, thereby giving the rest of us some warning of the impending disaster.
 
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